On Professionalism

This past year has been quite enlightening. I often talk about how i was someone that would literally do anything for everyone all the time. But maybe its time catching up with me, or a heavy dose of cynicism that has encroached my thinking. I used to let people walk all over me throughout my growing up, and this often translated to friends. Over the past few years i have gained skill in certain areas and enjoy creating. But its hard for me to get to point of forgiving people.  I know forgiveness is a essential quality to life, and moving forward, but it is so hard for me to drop something. And i think that the biggest part of it is probably having this complex along the lines of "I would never have...", this is flawed thinking i know, but i still feel it. I now have a hypersensitivity to when i feel like i am being used by someone, and my immediate reaction is to distance myself from the person, and bury it, all the while not being in contact with them. I also realize this is not healthy or does it build healthy relationships but it is essentially who i am. The Relationships i build i have expectations(which are exceedingly low, due to the cynicism)  and when they are broken its hard for me to even want to talk to them. Especially when i bring in my profession and this is Essentially what i would like to Discuss. 

When i do work it goes either 1 of 2 ways. 1. You pay for my services just like anything else. or 2. Its for trade. 

now when 2 happens and we are trading services weather its by trading photos to model to build both portfolios or letting someone use my work and having my watermark on it. Right now i will focus on watermarks and giving credit. Why is this so important to me? A Few reasons. 

Its my passion: When I create something for my portfolio and I am creating it is usually for me. So when i am approached by someone to use my work for anything i am normally Ecstatic, but i have a few guide lines. I ask that my work not be manipulated in any way by anyone but me, and that i am given credit. When i am not given credit it is essentially stealing my work, and using as a face for something i may not endorse.

It gets worse when a acquaintance uses my work i am normally excited! I love when people see my work, but often my name is not put on it, and this is essentially worthless to my name, my brand, and my Business. This is anything! This could be not putting someones name on their Music, Art, Pluming, Carpentry, Anything! There is a reason everyone knows certain names like facebook, Instagram, and Youtube. Its because they are branded and their names are on it. So when My work is shared and my name is not on it, i actually am the one loosing out. 

there is probably a bunch of errors in this but i dont care, just needed to vent.